The Complete New Cat Owner Guide

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A compelling cat owner guide to doing right as seen through the eyes of a cat. If you are a cat person and are considering owning a cat, don't do anything until you read this story.

So you think you have what it takes to be a good cat owner.

  Well in case you may be confused, let me tell you what is involved in making your home the perfect place for you and your kitty.  It takes a whole bunch of T.L.P, not to be mistaken for that human phrase T.L.C.  Time, Love, and Patience.  You see, our species is one of the smartest and most independent to walk the face of the earth.  As it is with parents and children of that other species, this may cause some tension with owners. 

Just like children, we like to frolic and play and get into things we are not supposed to.  The only difference is our source of communication.  The owner tells us “No” or “Get Down” or “Good Kitty” or, my favorite of course, “My little kitty angel, Mommy loves you”.  At this point, since owners don’t understand KittyPhonics, we respond with a hiss or a purr or a brush up against their leg or if we are having a bad day, we don’t respond at all and run and hide underneath the bed.  This lets the owner know the message was received loud and clear.

So here is where the three essentials of being a good cat owner start to formulate in the owner's everyday activities if, in fact, they have what it takes to be a good cat owner.

First of all there is TIME.  We have feelings too and they can be deeply destroyed if we are amongst the unfortunate who have been placed in the home of an owner who simply does not have time for us.  We need attention and bonding time with our owners.  The owner should always ensure their kitty that they have time to play with them and feed them and cuddle with them.  Helpful Hint – We really like to sit on your lap while you sit on the couch and watch television.  An occasional scratch behind the ear wouldn’t hurt either.  The best cat owners devote most of their at-home time to their cat.

Next, there is LOVE.  Now love may go hand and hand with time, however, they are two separate necessities crucial to the growth and development of your cat.  Love to a cat is buying the right kind of food, not whatever is on sale.  We also appreciate the love in the form of the non-clumping, clay forming on the fur litter.  But the most important form of love, the center of all good that we do, is the snacks.  When we get down off the table, stop splashing water out of the toilet bowl and stop wrestling with our siblings, our ulterior motive is snackies.  If the owner buys the right snacks, we are like putty in the hands.  Just don’t tell anybody that you heard that from me.  Of course you can see how the time issue ties into the love issue but take it from me; it is all about the snackies.

Finally, and by far the hardest for the owner to perfect, is PATIENCE.  You have to have the patience to gain the trust, respect, and love of your cat.  Helpful Hint – CATNIP.  Don’t let anyone tell you differently.  Catnip is the Prozac of the cat community.  I admit we tend to get a little crazy at times and go wild and pretend we don’t understand that language the owner is shouting at us, but we are animals you know.  It is in our genes to run wild and be free and on our own at times.  It is very important for us to find the inner cat that is begging to be explored.  It is imperative that you find an owner that will be patient while you explore the subtle beast within.  Most owners, if they have what it takes, can easily be persuaded with a simple meow, purr, or sad kitty cat face, which is quite effective I might add.

And there you have it, the three basics to being a good cat owner, as seen through the eyes of me, Chyna the cat.  Do you know how I know so much about what it takes to be a good cat owner?  My owner showed me.  She is everything I mentioned above and more, but I am on a deadline so I only gave you the basics, and she is the best.  She could teach a class on how to be a good cat owner but then every kitty would want to be owned by her.   Sorry cat friends, I already have to share her with my brother and sister.  But that’s all right with me because I wouldn’t change her for all the snacks in the world.  Not even the good kind.  MEOW!!